Peggy, the silver fox

Spent a little time in the garden today with Peg. Winter vegetables are finally starting to take off-- broccoli, kale, beets and onions (or "unnuns" as we call them at our house). Cabbage, not so much.

But the flowers... wow. It's been in the 70's and sunny every day and they're as happy as we are. We have a hot date this afternoon... actually a threesome. Our partner is John Deere. Yep, that John Deere. They make tractors, but more importantly, all kinds of tubing, emitters and sprinklers. Getting the yard geared up for new planting before it gets too hot.

Speaking of things growing... here's the long-awaited photo of my sweet wife with her soft, minty-fresh hair! We're going camping next week with our friends the Andre's, the same folks we were with when the photo at the top of the blog was taken. Same place, Sunset State Beach, and same time of year. We're so used to seeing Peg with no hair, or short hair, it's hard to remember that last year she had so much hair.

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. Zoë just finished Science Olympiad, which has kept her incredibly busy on top of swim team practices and meets. I've been wrapping up some major design projects I thought were close to completion last time I posted. Peg's been meditating every day and attending a small dance/movement group for cancer survivors every Tuesday evening.

She gets in a good long walk every day but still has to pace herself. Saturday she saw Zoë compete in two Olympiad events at Sac State, so she was on her feet for over two hours plus an hour roundtrip drive. She was pretty woofed after that.

Not much else to report. We're changing our diets... gradually. Peg's leading the charge. More fresh fruits and vegetables, more organic produce, less animal fat. Stopped microwaving food in plastic containers. Even Meat Boy just has a steak once a month or so. We're looking forward to getting a lot of our food directly from the garden, and inundating our friends with tomatoes!

Good news, good numbers

CA-125 is more than a California Interstate highway (actually, there isn't one by that name). It's the marker for ovarian cancer. And Peg was tested for it last week. "Normal" is below 20.

Peg's number is five.

On Wednesday, we see Dr. B. for our quarterly check-in. As wonderful as she is, we're thankful to see her just four times a year after seeing her every three weeks from June through December.

A quick capsule of what life is like here these days:

Zoë is on her high school swim team and practices 2 1/2 hours a day, six days a week. Plus Science Olympiad Thursdays from 6-8pm. Sunday morning's sleeping in is a treasured experience.

I just wrapped some major freelance projects and Peg and I are turning our attention to planting blueberry bushes and doing some long-neglected repainting. We had dual-pane windows installed five years ago and still haven't even primed the trim around the sliding door to the deck.

Peg is happy. A lot. Visibly, "hey, you're spilling some happy on the floor, better grab a paper towel before the tile blisses out" happy. She just really appreciates being alive in a way I, who've never been gravely ill, have never experienced. I would do well to see the world the way she sees it now.

She gave Zoë her first driving lesson in the Prius, in our ginormous high school parking lot. We're already talking about a car next year. Even though she knows I'm joking, I never fail to tweak Zoë by mentioning that her first car should really be my truck. Hey, it's a Ford F-250 crew cab with an extended bed and a V-10! And it weighs 6,300 pounds! Ya want big and safe, here it is!

Aaaaahhhh, not so much. Probably looking at a 10 year-old Beetle. She wants to paint it yellow and purple. Hell, why not? The world's a wee bit too beige.

I'll snag a photo of Peg and post it soon. Her hair is really cute, and she looks radiant.

A time to slow down

Peg's been reading "The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have" by Mark Nepo. There's a quote she told me yesterday as we did our daily morning "checking in" that helped me, as I hope it helps you.

I've got some heavy responsibilities with my design work. Panicky clients, jobs that are taking far more many hours to complete than I estimated, immovable and looming deadlines.

When I told Peg what I had on my plate for the day, she smiled and opened the book, and read this to me:

"Unless someone is bleeding or can't breathe, unless there is some true physical requirement to act swiftly, a sense of urgency is a terrible illusion, a trick that happens, again and again, because life inside our skin and outside our skin are forever different."

Though it's not helpful, practical or useful to carry the unseen weight of "urgency," I do it more often than not. But we've been through true urgency this summer... and seeing Peg's serene face and bright eyes is my reminder to keep everything else in perspective.

Peg's first trip to SF in eons: blogging from the road

Spent the day in San Francisco. Zoë's off this week. Spent some time in Japan Town and got some gnarly, strange snacks at a store that was started by the owner's Japanese grandfather in 1907. Dried whole anchovies, several packages of strange snackety things, and (see photo) cuttlefish jerky. Soft and stringy. We finally had to put the damn bag away-- could not stop eating it. Munching down dried cuttlefish in a motel room with my girls. This is the life!

One of our favorite haunts is the Exploratorium, a wonderful hands-on science museum at the Palace of Fine Arts (where Janis Joplin was famously photographed with her psychedelic Porsche). Peg rested in the car, walked around the reflecting pool and read while my little scientist and I had a blast inside. Nothing like a Tuesday afternoon in the middle of February to keep the thundering horde at bay. Felt like we had the place all to ourselves.

Staying up here in Corte Madera, just north of The City.  Big pool with a hot tub. Peg's first foray into a public pool since early June. The hot water started bugging her feet (neuropathy), but we had fun.

Tomorrow we'll do a morning swim, then head up Mt. Tamalpais for a hike of undetermined length. Peg's idea. If she gets poohed, she can always sleep on the way back to Sacramento.

(A) Happy Valentine's Day

Zoë was off skiing with our friends the Andre's today and tomorrow, so Peg and I had the house to ourselves. It was a great day, but did not involve cards, chocolate or roses. Sometimes just sharing moments and getting stuff done is more memorable and meaningful than the "Hallmark holiday" stuff.

We planted a blueberry bush and some Scottish moss, and pulled up a bunch of weed mat so the Vinca Minor could take root and spread more easily. It was in the upper 60's today and absolutely glorious to be outside.

At sunset, we took a fairly long hike just off the American River on a mountain bike trail and saw about 20 turkeys flying up into a tree for the night. The best part of the hike for me was that Peg had the oomph to do it. There were times this summer when she couldn't even get up out of the chair to get a glass of water, or would have to lie down after eating anything. Seems like a lifetime ago.

Noticed a change in me today. When we were doing yard work before Peg was diagnosed, we sometimes bickered over how to do this or that. Getting bogged down over who was "right" about the details, versus just enjoying the collaborative process. Today, Peg was just so happy to be alive, and to be present with me in our work, and I really got it. It's not about the task, or doing it exactly the proper way, or even how long it takes. It's about being present and taking it all in.

And what a lot to take in... 68 sunny degrees, our neighbor's grilled chicken odor wafting into our yard, wildflowers blooming in February, laughing and holding hands with my wife... what's not to like?

Peg pilots the mighty F-250

I've had meetings in Midtown this week, 17 miles away, so I've been taking the Prius. Peg's been the captain of my giant truck (F-250 crew cab, extended bed. Basically the biggest frickin' thing you can buy from Ford unless you get a "duelie" with four rear tires).

She can even back the beast into the driveway in one pass without nuking the mailbox. Yay!

The truck's name is Meatloaf. My previous truck, an F-150 was Beefer. All my vehicles (and there have been perhaps 15-20 of them) have been boys. Don't know why, and can barely remember their names: Animal, Willard, FunFunFun ('55 T-bird), LaBamba ('60 Chevy convertible), Dweezil, Buffalo, Astro, Rocket, Ödvar, Bosco...

Making plans for a short getaway to San Francisco next week while Zoë's off school for the first Spring Break. Yes, they have two of them, just a few weeks apart. I don't know why. We'll stay in Corte Madera, just north of The City, and take the ferry across. One day via ferry and buses, one day with our own wheels. This is our first big family trip out since Peg was diagnosed, seven months ago Friday.

She's quite the furry thing. Would be quite a hoot to take her portrait every day from the same angle and edit all the photos together in sequence. My wife, the chia pet. Judging by her hair's thickness and coloration, fun/wacky hair days await. She's at the cusp of just being out there in the world sans wig or cap... she looks good. Slap on a pair of big earrings and voila', she could be mistaken for a New York magazine fashion editor.

The big hike

Just a few photos and a bit of video from our hike today. Peg's brother Mike, Jeanette's husband Greg, Zoë and I launched over our back fence and wound our way down to the lake along the creek, about a half hour walk. Peg, Jeanette and Marianne took the fire road overlooking the lake and met us where the trail opens up between the hills at water's edge.

Peg made the climb and not insubstantial hike, no problem. My girls did crash pretty hard later in the afternoon. They napped while I did a bike ride. Sixty-four unbelievably sunny degrees here today.

In about a month we'll venture down the hill again to see the wildflowers. We hope Peg will be strong enough to hop our fence and go the back way with us. She's growing eyebrows and hair like crazy, so stamina can't be far behind!

The first video is when we stopped to look at the deer and explore Zoë's hideaway, the bamboo forest. The second video is the panorama view Zoë took just after we headed back after checking out the lake. For those of you in the area, this is just behind the first set of hills east of the Hazel Avenue bridge.